i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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