Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
