I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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