woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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