It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
