She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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