That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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