Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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