Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
