I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
