dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
