It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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