Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
