Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She bit a glass in half.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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