Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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