Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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