Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
