ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
