The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sponge bath it is.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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