I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
