Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
