i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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