ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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