One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Randomize
