Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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