At least make sure they are 18
Why
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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