I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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