Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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