My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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