the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
