I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
