as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
