So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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