I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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