She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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