how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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