I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
