new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
