Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
