Non-Jews are for practice
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
