i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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