Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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