Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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