She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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