Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
