so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
