this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
