Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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