I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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