i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
