just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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