This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
