what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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