i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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