I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
