Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize