No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
