I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
