she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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