So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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