Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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