break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
