Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The best revenge is premature balding
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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