I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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