he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My vagina just recognized that song.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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