I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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