Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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