My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
